Funny stuff kids say

[sleeperred90tgp]

LITTLE KNOWN FACT ABOUT THE OCEAN



A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Children were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the' better' ones.  Here are some of the descriptions of "ocean life."


1. This is a picture of an octopus.  It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

2. Some fish are dangerous.  Jellyfish can sting.  Electric eels
can give you a shock.  They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

;3. Oysters' balls are called pearls! (James age 6)

4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island .  If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)

5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just
like Emily Richardson.  She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pot, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 7)

8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to
cross the ocean.  Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.  My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

9. I like mermaids.  They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tail s.  How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 7)

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it
makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)


Kids are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I
s pell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you
are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."

_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his
hand.

______________________________________


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good
cook.

______________________________


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly
the same as your brother's.  Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A t eacher








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[TGP Nick]

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