Wal-Mart has everything

Started by sleeperred90tgp, February 07, 2007, 07:32:08 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

sleeperred90tgp

Wal-Mart has everything!

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.  "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.  It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. 

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.  It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5 If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! :icon_rolleyes:

Quickest TGP on this planet.

:cheers:FASTEST TGP AWARD given By TGPforums!:cheers:

            Congratulations JUD! Keep an eye on your rear-view mirror for TGPilot

TGP Nick

#1
 :smilielol: OMG that is funny shit!  :smilielol:
Nick
1989 Pontiac Turbo Grand Prix- LG5 - 4T60HD
2008 Ford Ranger XLT- 2.3 DOHC I-4 - 5MT
2012 Nissan Altima SR coupe- 3.5 V6 - 6MT